


Baking with Andrew and Dawn

by yvochrali



Series: The Retoldverse [8]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cooking Lessons, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, On Hiatus, Season/Series 02, vlogging - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvochrali/pseuds/yvochrali
Summary: Andrew welcomes you to the kitchen as he (and Dawn) teaches you how to bake Dill Pickle Tart! It's witty, it's weird and it's wonderful; Plus, it contains these two, so...what could possibly go wrong? No wonder everyone seems to be avoiding the kitchen. Part 8 of the Retoldverse. Set in Season 2. A/D friendship
Relationships: Dawn Summers & Andrew Wells
Series: The Retoldverse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891282
Kudos: 2





	Baking with Andrew and Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Buffyverse. If I did-
> 
> Dawn: (Pops in) -iHola Chicos! (Pops out)
> 
> ...what just happened?
> 
> Buffy: (Deadpan) She learned a new language.
> 
> Already?!
> 
> Buffy: (Grumpily) Do not ask me what goes on in her mind, or how it works.
> 
> Dawn: (Pops back in, muttering) Eso es porque el tuyo no lo hace. (Smirks in triumph)
> 
> Buffy: O.O
> 
> (Author rolls her eyes)

**Baking with Andrew and Dawn**

The camera starts rolling. A face comes into view, beaming with delight.

"I think it's on!" Her voice squeaks in excitement. The voice belongs to a girl. She has long, medium-brown hair drawn up into a ponytail, pretty blue eyes, and looks to be about 11-years old.

"Dear darling Dawnie, stop smushing your face in my beautiful camera!" A male voice cries. We assume he's about the same age or older. He backs away so that the camera shows the girl's whole figure, not just her face. The viewers can now see that they are standing in a kitchen; the surfaces are cleaned and polished, though we know that that will not last for long. You know how children are, always messing things up, and then moaning about having to clean it all up again afterwards because their "incredibly irritating" parents say so.

"Geez, Andy, chill a little, will you?" Dawn rolls her eyes but smiles fondly at the boy behind the camera.

Andrew huffs; the camera is put on another surface; presumably the table.

We can now see both children. Andrew is rather scrawny and has dirty-blonde hair that reaches his chin. He, like Dawn, also has blue eyes; full of innocence. He looks to be about 14 years old; a teenager. He waves happily at the camera.

Dawn clears her throat, shifting a little awkwardly. "Hey, guys! So, um, I'm Dawn."

"-and I'm Andrew!"

"-and we're going to be baking!"

There is a brief moment of silence.

Andrew takes over. "What will we be baking, you might ask?" He gestures dramatically to the counter; we can see several baking ingredients, including, oddly enough, pickles. A saucepan is already on the oven, waiting to be used.

"You see, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be baking Dill Pickle Tart. A wonderful cuisine that is guaranteed-"

Beside him, Dawn mouthes " _Drama Queen_ " at the camera, innocently staring back at Andrew when he breaks off to glare at her.

- _As I was saying_ , it is guaranteed to make your day," He pauses for dramatic effect; Dawn giggles; "a little bit brighter." He winks secretively at the camera.

Andrew raises one finger importantly as he gestures to the pot with the other hand, "As you can see," He then gestures to the already chopped cucumber, "We have already done the first step. It is so wonderfully simple! We actually have two cucumbers, but _alas_ , you only need to dice one of them. This particular cucumber also needs to be unseeded; we don't like those nasty seeds, do we my most humble assistant?" He turns his head to look at Dawn, whose lips twitch as she tries to fight a smile.

" _Oh n_ o, Master Chef Andrew, we do not." She can't hold it in anymore and breaks out into giggles, having to hold onto the counter behind her, as she regains her composure.

"And does it also need to be unpeeled? Or shall it keep it's _lovely_ , green skin?" He continues, raising his chin pompously, a snooty British accent in full effect.

"Unpeeled, M-M-Master," Dawn holds her hand to her mouth as more giggles threaten to come out. "C-Chef Andrew."

Andrew winces as he pulls out the poor, skinless cucumber. "Oh, Gods! 'Tis true!" He gasps, holding his hand to his chest.

He quickly recovers. "Now, my most humble assistant, you may dice our green friend." He reluctantly hands her the cucumber; Dawn has taken out a cutting board and a knife is at the ready, prepared to do its duty.

Andrew turns back to the camera swiftly, clasping his hands behind his back like a high-class waiter. "Now, what happens to the other cucumber? Well, our other green friend is simply here for decoration." He wipes his brow in relief with a nearby towel. "Thank the heavens for that! He is spared a terrible, _terrible_ fate." He sneaks a glance behind him; Dawn is almost finished dicing the other cucumber. He shudders as she turns to grin creepily at him, giving him a thumbs up.

Andrew clears his throat. "Where was I? Ah!" He raises a finger in the air as if he had just remembered something. "We will also require a sprig of fresh dill!" He turns the camera slightly to show a...potted plant?

"Look here, gentle viewers!" He practically skips over to hug the plant. "This is Miss. Dill! She is like family, not that my most _humble_ assistant thinks so." He looks pointedly at Dawn as she comes into view to check on the saucepan; she raises her eyebrows at him, and then at the plant. She spares the camera a bemused glance.

"It's a _plant_ , Andy."

"Yes, darling. _My_ plant." Andrew pulls Miss. Dill to himself possessively. "And it will be sacrificing it's most precious offspring so that we may use it as we see fit!" He lets out a sob, stroking the plant's leaves. "You, my dear, are an outstanding daughter! I will never forget your sacrifice!"

Dawn blinks at this but wisely chooses to simply shake her head and move on. She briefly disappears from view and, a few moments later, comes back with a packet of sugar, a carton of milk, two cups and a small bowl.

Andrew's eyes brighten as his dil finally has a purpose. He rushes over with his handful of dil, which he has painstakingly removed from Miss. Dill, and carefully puts it in the small bowel which Dawn had placed a safe distance away from the hot saucepan. He turns back to the camera, smiling cheerfully once more.

"Gentleviewers, to explain what my most humble assistant is doing right at this very moment, I need to slowly describe the steps leading up to this _very_ special moment." His smile becomes soft and fond. "First, we need 2 1/2 cups of milk. We combine that with Dill Jr, our diced cucumber and 5 cups of sugar." He frowns suddenly, tapping his chin; then, his expression lights up, "Oh wait! It says in the recipe that we only need _half_ of the sugar for this step! May I wonder what we'll be doing with the rest?" Andrew eyes the camera, "That's a rhetorical question, I'll have you know."

"We mix this all in the saucepan on medium-heat for say..." He moves his head side-to-side as if he's trying to unlodge an idea, "...40-45 minutes until the cucumber goes all mushy and soft. Once that happens, it becomes one with the milk! Splendid!" He does a little bounce.

"Don't forget to check it once in a while and stir frequently!" Dawn adds from where she is happily stirring while, curiously, humming a tune.

"Our darling Dawnie is correct!" Andrew exclaims. "If there is not proper vigilance over ze food, _la merveilleuse cuisine_ will burn!" He goes pale at the thought. "And we do not want that to happen." He says sternly and looks critically at Dawn. He even crosses his arms to prove his point.

He then smiles charmingly at the camera once more. "After 20 minutes, remove the dil, and voila!" He throws his arms up in celebration, then crouches down to peer at the camera closely, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "You move on to ze next step." He winks. The camera is turned off and everything goes black.

**Finite**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry folks! It isn't over yet! Not even close. About...5 chapters left to go! (There are 6 steps in total, you see)
> 
> (Squee)
> 
> This is probably my best yet and I'm. so. excited to see what you guys think!
> 
> R&R and don't forget to-
> 
> Dawn: -follow
> 
> Andrew: -and favourite
> 
> -Our lovely story
> 
> Dawn: -And watch out
> 
> Andrew: -for more
> 
> All: (In unison) Au revoir!


End file.
